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This solution is for Windows Only. For the nerds, you can skip reading all these perhaps.

This solution is totally free and intended to be comprehensive. Simply apply this solution, and your computer will be rid of most of its problems.

Note: If any installer or uninstaller ask you to restart your computer at any time, please do so.
If you don't understand what the software does, you can read the authors' websites for the softwares, and search wikipedia for terms.
Do not skip any steps unless it says that step is optional.

Step 1.
Get rid of the lame guards that your computer now has.

Uninstall existing all anti-virus and firewall software, but you can keep the windows firewall.

Step 2.
Load your gun.

Download and Install all the following:
All of them are free to download and use. They are 100% clean.
  1. CCleaner
  2. myDefrag
  3. Spybot - Search & Destroy
  4. AVG Antivirus / Avast Antivirus - Find Download Section and install either one of them. Only one antivirus is needed.
  5. Malwarebyte' Anti-Malware - Find the Download Now button to download
Step 3.
After you install COMODO Internet Security,
Disable windows firewall through the control panel of windows and you will use COMODO's firewall from now on.

Step 4.
Problem Massacre or Problem Mass-cure

Run the following in order, wait for the previous one to finish before you start another.
  1. CCleaner (Run the cleaner)
  2. Windows Disk Cleanup (At least clean your drive/partition that has Windows in it.)
  3. MyDefrag (Double click it will defragment all drives in the computer.
  4. Spybot Search & Destroy (update it and immunize, then scan for spyware)
  5. Malwarebyte' Anti-Malware - Through Scan
  6. Run the Anti-virus that you have installed and scan whole computer
If you can't execute anything on the list apart from installation problems, your computer may have very bad stuff in it. Go to safe mode.

If you don't know how to go to safe mode, read and follow this:

In safe mode, scan with Malwarebyte's Anti-Malware, restart, and do the step 4 again. If you still can't execute anything, go safe mode again, and run a scan for the whole computer using COMODO Antivirus.

Repeat Step 4.4, 4.5, 4.6 until no viruses, trojan, spyware, malware and other threats are found by them.

I am very sure you are giving those cunning viruses and such on your computer a big orgasm so that they DIE on the spot. My preference is lean to kill them quickly. With this set of software, viruses and such are just some pervert masochists to me.

Step 5.
You need to update your windows.

Assume that you have get rid of all the viruses, trojan, spyware, malware and so on in step 4.

For Vista:
Go to Control Panel, then windows update.
Install all the missing patches, and software.

For Windows XP and older:
Open Internet Explorer, go to 
The website will download and install all the missing patches and software for you after your selections, at least select all the critical updates, and agree all license agreements when asked.

Step 6.
Turn on windows auto update:

For Vista, read this and follow the instructions:

For XP, read this and follow the instructions:

I recommend you to turn on Microsoft Update if your computer is running Windows XP.

There is a very little chance that Microsoft would give you a bad update that you cannot use your computer after update.
It might happen like this:

However, from my experience and advice, I conclude that your computer is at more risk without updates from Microsoft. Therefore, I recommend you to turn on auto update.

Step 7.
Install's updater

Download and Install's updater at:

Run the updater and install all the updates that Filehippo's updater recommends.

You can optionally install any software that Pat has recommended on his frequently updated software recommendation list.

Step 8.

I think after all these, you computer should be clean enough without junks in it and it will be stronger - for a while. Do step 4,5,6,7 at least every two weeks to keep your computer's health in check.

In case you are forgetful or lazy, and your computer is always on, yet want a clean computer for your own use, schedule your computer cleanup:
  • You may schedule your scan with mydefrag with the windows' scheduler in both XP and Vista.
    • You just need to create your tasks in the task scheduler:
    • In particular:
      • The command line that you should enter is "C:\Program Files\MyDefrag v4.3.1\MyDefrag.exe"   (Include the quotes please. Refer to your myDefrag installation directory.)
      • You don't have to enter any arguments for this. It will automatically defragment all your drives attached to your computer.
  • You can also schedule Spybot, and AVG Antivirus/Avast Antivirus within the program themselves.
  • I think for both Malwarebytes and CCleaner, you will have to run them by hand.
If your computer is not always on, i.e. you turn off your computer after each use, you had better run the recommend maintenance programs by hand so that you would not miss your necessary maintenance for your computer.

Good luck with your computer(s).

GPL license applies.